Got Confidence?

I hated every minute of training, but I said 'don’t quit, suffer now & live the rest of ur life as a champion.'  

                                                                 -Muhammad Ali

Here I am...3ish weeks into cross country season. Three frustrating, painful weeks. I remember back to those hot summer days when I was running 10 minutes at a time, feeling so excited and exuberant. I remember when even one minute of running was precious.

While those days did wonders for my mind, they didn't do much for my running base. Usually I like to get in around 500 miles over the summer-and have my base already built for me so that when the season starts I don't have to go through...what I just went through. I still hadn't run more than 4 days a week. And so the building process began. It's not that I'm not running as fast as I was last year, it's just that I'm not feeling awesome. Ever. And let me tell you right  now...I'm used to feeling awesome every day. Every run, every workout and most importantly every race.

But now that we've bumped my training yesterday was the first day in a full week that I ran without feeling awful. Even my first race went the way of all flesh as my legs died with half a mile to go. The following Monday I ran an amazing long run (11 miles in 75 minutes) but ever since then my legs have been hurting.

Then finally, this past week I did a 10.5 miler followed by a full-body ice bath in Lake Michigan and yesterday 8 miles,finally, FINALLY pain-free and relaxed. Here's to the hope that this week will go better. I'd like to think that whatever happened the past week or so was one of those "training humps" that all runners must scale before they can go on to bigger and better things. Faster things, if you will.

I've been having some serious doubts now that I'm not feeling awesome all the time. I know that these first few weeks won't matter come October and November. But really, I'm a bit fed up with my legs. If I can run 11 miles in 6:48 pace, why is it so hard for me to fathom running 4 miles at only a minute faster? Confidence...where art thou?

The day after my intense 11-miler my legs were toast. They didn't want to move at all, and frankly I think they had a right to feel that way. While I cursed at myself post-workout for not running faster my assistant coach told me something that really made sense. Possibly the best thing anyone's told me in years. He said "You're running a lot of miles really hard right now. Did you really expect it not to hurt?"

You know what though? I had expected it. I had expected to feel awesome all the time, just like I did last year. But last year I was doing my 9 milers at 7:30 pace. Not 7:15 or 7:00. Last year I was running 35-40 miles a week. Not 44 plus 3 days of pool workouts as well. Did I expect it not to hurt? yes. But now I understand. Of COURSE my legs are going to be dead. Just because I'm tired doesn't mean that I get to run slower...if anything it means to run harder.

Luckily I think my legs made it over this training hump, but I think it was a training hump that my mind had to make it over too.

Take a deep breath and remember that running isn't always going to be fun. It's not always going to be easy and you're not always going to feel amazing. Yet, in the end remember that  it'll be worth all of the calf cramps, the side aches, and the ice baths.