"Remind yourself that some of the best days of your life haven't even happened yet."
I should be racing today. I promised myself I'd be running by April 2nd. Today is my team's home meet. Today is gorgeous outside. And I should be racing today. But I'm not.
I'm particularly sad this morning and not really sure why. It really hasn't been bothering me lately and definitely hasn't bothered me for any races. Not sure why today is different. Not sure why today is more sad. Probably due to tiredness my head isn't on quite straight.
But the thing is I have to remember that not matter what happens or no matter how I'm feeling it will all be worth it this coming Tuesday. I have a secret....I'm going running on Tuesday. I should be cleared on Wednesday. I say should, because I thought that I was going to get cleared months ago.
Why is it that as humans it's not so much failure that makes us upset, but instead that idea that we could have succeeded but didn't. I think the difference is that with failure at least you tried, at least you gave it your all. This morning, I'm sad because I don't even have a chance. And because there's a meet all day I can't even go biking either. Something about human nature makes us feel this need to find success. If we don't have the chance to do that, we seem to equate it with failure. As I am doing this morning.
It takes courage for us to keep pushing through. But isn't it comforting to know that the best days are still ahead? As long as we keep pushing through the hard days, there will be far, far, better ones on the other side.
Three months ago I wouldn't have been cranky about not getting a proper bike ride in on the first super nice day, I would have been wishing that I didn't have to show up to a track meet on crutches. Perspective perspective perspective!!!!
Katie:
ReplyDeleteI’m sorry to hear that you’re sad this morning. Thankfully you’re planning on running Tuesday so that should be awesome to finally be able to get back out there. You brought up something interesting: why is it the “could have succeeded” part that makes us more upset than the failure? I think the answer lies in the fact that, if we feel we could have succeeded, we view that as meaning that we let ourselves down by not succeeding. Like you said, with failure you at least gave it your all. Breaking your foot was completely out of your control after all. Remember the things you wrote in Thursdays post – you would not have had the revelations that you had if you hadn’t broken your foot. You said it best when you said “isn’t it comforting to know that the best days are ahead?”. Wise words indeed :)
Sorry if that was kinda rambly, I just like your blog and I enjoy following your story :)
I definitely enjoy rambling. It's true that success is how we measure ourselves. I'm doing my best to remember that there is so much more and that i can't discredit myself yet. Thanks for your wonderful comment.
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