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Tuesday, June 12, 2012

1000 Miles of Forgiveness

"Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father, run for your children, for your sisters and brothers. Leave all you love and your longing behind, you can't carry them with you if you want to survive"
 -Florence and the Machine, Dog Days are Over


Running, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. My feet pound over and over to this rhythm. Each step is another apology to that which I love, to myself, to everything I almost gave up on. I'm sorry I'm sorry.

Maybe I apologize too much. Maybe not. Either way it's something I feel I must apologize for. To myself anyways. To think that I almost gave up completely that I can not go one day without  thinking about. I'm just thankful every day that I decided at the last second to give it one last try.

It's funny what a turn things have taken. I've progressed rather quickly from how much I used to hate running until now. What flipped the switch exactly I'm not sure. I stayed in my hating running slump for quite some time before I was able to shake it off. Just like during a long run it came somewhere along the 5 mile mark before I relaxed. Once my runs hit 45 minutes I started to feel more confident and less scared. And suddenly I leap that hurdle. I'm now ready to run 8, 10, 15 miles. I'm planning a half marathon in the fall, I'm itching for speed workouts, I want to race.

It's like I'm starting all over again and I have the whole rest of my life to make up for what I almost threw out. It's an amazing feeling to be starting out from scratch again. No one knows me anymore, no one expects anything of me, you won't find my name on the NCAA website predicting my race times. No, what I'm back to is "We'll just have to wait to find out if I am fast or not..." And that's the way I like it. That's when I feel free, and when I feel free is when I run fast. Don't get me wrong, I'm not planning some huge dramatic comeback, but I am excited at the prospect of making a slow but successful comeback. I don't need to be hitting some kind of insane time or getting my pro card. I just want to win a little money here and there to help support my rent  and maybe join a team so I can get discounted shoes.

I'm also excited that these things have a direction again. I'm not just working out for the heck of it. I've started legitimately looking for races to run, and legitimately think about training. It's just a start of course, but it's, I think, a good step from where I'd been.

How? you may ask did I conquer my earnest hatred of running?
1. Run on trails
2. Run at night
4. Run early in the morning
5. Run during a thunderstorm
6. Don't feel that you have to run every day
7. Run strides barefoot through sprinklers
8. Run fast....run slow
9. Stop during the middle of a run and dance to something on your ipod
10. Remember that it's all about loving running

That said I have epic biking adventure #2 today, trying to conquer 110 miles, so for me there won't be any running today.







1 comment:

  1. I am trying to get into endurance running but I seem to be struggling with it. I am in really good shape, and can do an hour of elliptical cardio with no problems, but eudurance while running is something I do not seem to have. Do you have any suggestions? If so, shoot me an email at keith_wynn@hotmail.com. Thanks!!

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