The Things About Me Which Are Not About Running

"Dreamers are not people disconnected from reality. Dreamers are people fully connected to reality's potential.”

There's very little that this blog says about me besides about running. If we're being realistic here, there's little that I say about myself even in every day life which is not about running. When it comes to personal issues I am actually quite a private person, and I don't share my daily emotional struggles or deeper issues.

However, there's something to be said about focusing on the aspects of my life which are not about running. For now anyways. At the soonest I'm halfway through the crutches phase of my injury. So that means that at the soonest I can try to walk in about two weeks. But it might be longer. I still have a long, long road in front of me. Maybe it's time to start focusing not on what I'm not doing (i.e. RUNNING) and think about the things that I am doing. There's more to life than being a runner you know. (yes, yes, I know. It's about time I took my own advice)

Apart from not running there are a lot of things going on in my life right now. I'm up to my neck in graduate school applications. I know you all know that I like psychology but what I'm actually hoping to do is start a whole new field of psychology when I get out of grad school which deals with the legal rights of rape/harassment victims.  There are people deal with the physical and legal side of these crimes. However, there aren't very many who deal with the psychological ramifications.

I used to play the flute a lot too. I was actually in band for close to 10 years and even got myself a flute scolarship. I'm not by any means "talented" but I was good enough by the time I got to college.  I dropped band after my sophomore year  because it interfered too much with my upper level psychology classes.

I like to paint as well. When I was going through that angst-y time in high school I used to paint pictures all the time-one of them even went to our conference's art show one time. Again, I don't do it as much because I don't have unlimited time but maybe it's something I can pick up again.

And as if you can't tell I like to write. In high school I was the editor of our student newspaper the "Warrior Times Weekly"  Aside from that I've kept a journal since the time I was in fifth grade. So yes, my entire life is documented. I've done a little bit of poetry and some short stories. And of course, my blog. I went through a very long period of time in my life when I wanted to be a journalist for the New York times.

I like bright colors, and loud music that I can dance to. I'm obsessed with horses because they can run fast. I would do anything for a pet horse actually.  I love Disney movies most but also movies about horses and pirates and superheros.  I want nothing more than to be my own person and be known for that. My favorite time of day is 6am because it's quiet and I love nothing more than to watch the sunrise. I still jump in leaf piles and climb up snow piles. Whenever it thunderstorms I always watch it. Sometimes I go outside and dance in the rain. I'm obsessed with all things organic because I just feel "better".   I'm really bad at Spanish and really good at English.  I like drinking tea late at night while doing homework. I think sleeping is a huge waste of time. I feel lazy whenever I get more than 6 or 7 hours. When I'm not at school I dedicate a large amount of time volunteering at humane societies.

I've said before that running is the greatest gift I've ever been given. But this isn't true. The greatest gift, is life. Even though I can't run, I'm also trying so hard not to forget this and to celebrate life every day.

One-Legged Adventures

"Some hearts do not need speed training, they were just simply made to give life everything"


 I like to go on adventures with my crutches. Just because I can't run does not mean my sense of adventure will be dissuaded in any way shape or form. Over this past Thanksgiving break I've been taking countless adventures with my crutches..

I went walking a lot...er...crutching. There's something soothing about being about to get out and walk around my town.

Though going on walks on crutches is easier said than done. Now that it's November in Wisconsin and finally getting cold it's also pretty slippery. So I have to be really really careful not to lose my balance. That said I lose my balance at least once every five minutes, try as I might. Usually this is primarily due to my foot moving too fast for my arms to keep up with.






Nothing's really changed though. On all of my runs I start out too fast. Always have, always will. It's well known by both my coach and all of my teammates that I'll on average start out 30 seconds per mile faster than I'm supposed to be targeting. Now, I don't know how paces convert properly to crutches. However, I do know that if there is such a thing as crutch-sprinting that's what I do for the first half mile or so.... unfortunately I am then exhausted for the remainder of the walk. But you know what? If I get to feel awesome for half a mile...it's totally worth it.

This is me getting ready for my walk....I realize that it's not really what most people expect to see an injured person doing but I don't care. And yes, in case they don't stare enough I decided to wear a neon pink sweatshirt.

AND on days when it's really slippery outside I'll go to the mall and get my exercise instead....and a bit of retail therapy as well.

And finally of course puppies always help to cure  broken heels and broken hearts and broken spirits. I spent a lot of time cuddling with my puppy after I got done with my walks.

This week's goal: go to the pool and kick my legs in the water...and try to flex my foot all the way.
Two more weeks until my next x-rays. Two more weeks till maybe getting to walk again.

About Being Thankful

"Happiness isn't getting everything you want. It's being thankful for everything you have"


You know what I'm not thankful for? Having a broken foot. Not thankful for crutches, or the first Thanksgiving that as long as I can remember, I haven't gone running during for my own version of "thanksgiving".


 Do I miss running? Do I ever. It hurts too much to even think about running right now. I miss the endorphins, the rush, the tired legs, the wind, the speed. I miss the smell of fall and the feel of running shorts and the freedom of it all. The freedom of using nothing but my own power to get somewhere, and knowing that no one in the world can know exactly where I am. But if being injured has taught me anything it's that everything that I have is precious. Life can change in an instant, in one wrong step, all before you realize that the change is even occurring.


So this Thanksgiving for me isn't about turkey and cranberries or football or a vacation from school. And sadly it's not about a 10 mile run at 5 in the morning to show my thanks for the greatest gift that I've ever been given.


No, this year I'll be focusing on being thankful for everything that I do have left and never taking anything for granted. Each instant, each run, because you never know which will be your last. 


I'm so thankful for people that love me enough to take care of me. I don't like to be taken care of, and I tend to be too independent for my own good. But I'm so thankful that they insist on taking care of me anyways no matter how many times I declare "I'm fine"

I don't know how I would have navigated through these past two weeks without them. It wasn't until I couldn't run that I realized how much my teammates and my friends really cared for me. Or maybe, I just never stopped running long enough to notice before this.

 I'm thankful for eating turkey and stuffing and cranberries and calcium supplements. For the good leg that I do have and the fact that at least my patellofemoral is healed.I'm thankful for the torture rest that is finally being forced upon me. I'm thankful for my parents and my dog and the rest of my wonderful family, the rest of my wonderful life. And so much more.

Lucky me :)

Because It's Who You Are

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." Helen Keller




I have to something you know. I can't just be expected to sit here on the couch watching "Legally Blonde" and "Mulan" for the next 6 weeks. It is actually of great interest to me to know what people who are not runners do in all their spare time. So much of my life has always revolved around workouts and races that now I'm just left with this giant, empty, void. I used to plan my outfits, my meals, my sleep, my hair, my showers around my runs. Everything was because of running.


So now if you think about it...that means that I have to re-arrange everything in my life according to not running. I mean, do I really need 8 hours a night? not really....Do I need to make sure I get enough protein, enough vitamin C? I suppose it doesn't matter since I'm not depleting my body anymore with running. I can in fact, wear nice clothes and do my hair without feeling as though it's going to be a waste of time anyways. 


The point however, is that this resting thing really isn't for me. Suuuure I tried it out for a week or so, but that's not really who I am. I always thought that the best parts of me were because I run. I thought that my determination, my craziness, my persistence...were all from running. As I said above, ever since grade school my life has revolved primarily around running. So, I figured, who I am too, was shaped and formed based upon the fact that I run. 


But maybe instead, I chose running because I already possessed the qualities that it takes to be a runner. Maybe it's not so much of running making me who I am, but who I am making me a runner. At the very least its a comforting thought now that I can't run. 


This all became very clear to me two days ago. On Saturday, one week after the incident, I decided that it was time to stop moping around and time to do something. So I got my ipod and one running shoe and I headed out the door-with my crutches-on a "walk". Or as I prefer-a "pretend run".


I had two people stop me and ask me if I needed a ride and one guy (who clearly MUST have been a runner himeself) simply asked me what happened and after evaluating simply said "nice pace".   I went on a 40 minute pretend run that day. At the time I didn't think anything of it. I was simply trying to get myself in a better mood, get some of those old endorphins flowing again and try to clear out the cobwebs that have developed in my brain over the past week or so. 


However, when I mentioned doing this people were startled that I really went out on a 40 minute walk on crutches. I didn't think it was a big deal, just something I wanted to do. Just like how every other day of my life people think that insane to love ten mile runs or a 90 minute pool workout. Maybe I'm not like this because I'm a runner. Maybe I've always been like this, and that's why I love to run as much as I do. 


One week down. If all goes well I could be walking in 3 more weeks! 
But luckily whether I'm walking or swimming or crutching after those three weeks I know that no injury can take away the person that I am, I just have to find a different way to be that person for now. 

No Regrets

"It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right.
I hope you had the time of your life" -Greenday, Good Riddance 


There's a lot going on for me. A lot I'm trying to figure out. But here are the things that, no matter what happens this spring, I am sure of. 


I’m a double major in Psychology and Communications so there have been thousands of lectures, hundreds  assignments, countless essays and presentations.  But for me, all of those lessons were purely academic. My third major has always been running.

When I came in as a freshman I never considered myself “good” at running and I almost didn’t go out for cross country. But Coach Travis convinced me to give it a shot and that’s how it all began.  The four amazing years that followed, taught me things that I could have never learned in a classroom alone. I learned about never giving up, how to have confidence, and what it means to truly believe in yourself. I found that as long as you believe you can accomplish all that you set out to do.

I never really “believed” until my junior year, and that’s when I made it to NCAA Nationals, that’s when I broke records, that’s when I learned what loving running is all about.

Sure there have been negatives. There have injuries and bad races and disappointments.  Nothing is worse than putting all of yourself into running a race and coming out with nothing to show for it but rubbery legs and a broken heart. But in the end I wouldn’t trade a single moment of it for the world.  Even with those disappointments that came about, the bad races, the injuries, there is not one thing, not one mile that I will ever regret.

On a personal note, I believe that cross country and track has done more than just made me a fast runner. It’s made me a stronger person overall. Reflecting back I can see clearly now that my legs are stronger, my lungs are stronger, but more importantly my friendships are stronger, my faith is stronger, my “self” is stronger.

I’ve come to realize that I have the best teammates in the world. We may be a small team but there’s no one like us. There’s no other people in the world that loves making puns like we do, exploring Milwaukee when we get lost on our distance runs, or can make me laugh like they do. They’re also the people  who painted their bodies and drove to Nationals to watch me last year, who know me best, who carried me through hard workouts, who carry my when I’m on crutches, who don’t forget me even though I can’t run. I think that when you run enough miles with someone you develop a special kind of bond that can never be broken. 

I’d like to tell you that the best moment of my career came at the end of a particularly successful race, or one moment where I discovered how much I love running, or one “breakthrough” workout. But this is not the case. The best moment of my running career is the culmination of thousands and thousands of miles that introduced me to some of the best friends I will ever have, while together we used cross country to celebrate our common gift: running. 

Broken

"You don't throw a whole life away just because he's banged up a little" -Seabiscuit


Broken Foot. Broken Hearted

I hate my foot.

So I officially got the xray results yesterday. And let me tell you it goes above and beyond the duty of being a stress fracture. I mean, sure it used to be a stress fracture but now it's just a fracture really. The beast starts at the back of my heal (calcaneus bone) and goes about half way through.

If you just looked at your foot and tried to figure it out, it basically goes from the back of my heel and then horizontally across my foot about 2 inches or so. I mean, this thing is one beast of a fracture.

Which leads me to my next question. How?...HOW did this happen so fast? Don't stress fractures take time to develop? Can't people run on them for months before they get bad? I mean....in the course of a 2 and 1/2 miles I lost my ability not just to run, but to walk.  I ran the first mile perfectly fine. There was the ache in the back of my ankle sure, but I still ran it in 5:52. It gradually got worse and worse until I blacked out at the 4k. In two and a half miles I went from being able to run to constant pain. Bones aren't supposed to fracture that quickly just from running.

The conclusions mean that I am completely non-weight bearing for 6 weeks. Then I can start walking. Walking. I can't even walk. I'm in a boot AND crutches. I have strong legs. But they're not strong enough to not be exhausted between only having one to stand on and holding up a boot with the other.

What's strange is I can't even be sad about not running. I have to focus on things like how I'm going to shower, how I'm going to get dressed. I have to buy new clothes because i can't wear pants because the boot squishes them into my foot and it hurts. I have to worry about the fact that I can't sleep more than 3 hours at a time before I wake up in pain.

But luckily I never go anywhere without a plan. Are you ready for it?
2 weeks-go for first swim and sign up for a yoga class.
4-6 weeks go on first walk.
6- 8 weeks go on first bike ride.
8-16 week-biking biking biking. Begin training for late spring century ride
16 weeks-start running. slowly. Maybe.

I'm considering just taking the next six months off to heal. Based on my string of injuries I'd say that the problem is a little deeper than just a 2 inch stress fracture. I want to make sure that when I do start running there will be no more of this.

If you did your math 16 weeks=4 months which puts us in the middle of march. Now technically that's smack dab in the beginning of outdoor track season. So I could do it. Technically. Even if I do start running...well running is a far cry from racing which is a far cry from racing fast. I'm not completely ruling out track but what I've  slowly come to accept is that I have to do what's best for me. Not my coach, not my team, not my ego. I need to take care of my leg..and there's a lot more to that then just not running for 6 weeks.

I feel better thinking about this. At least a century ride gives me something to shoot for so I still have a purpose. The other part of my plan does include track. Just not racing. I love my team. so much and I can't leave them simply because my leg hurts. Just because I'm sad doesn't mean that I won't be there for them when they need me. So I'll still be going out for track (running or not). Worst case scenario I'll just ride my bike with them on all of their training runs.

So there it is...the best that I can come up with. For now I need to focus on sleeping and eating and getting stronger. Running will happen in it's own time.

We All Need Somebody To Lean On

"People come into your life for a reason. Be thankful for all of them."

Right now, I'm especially thankful for everyone in my life. I can't imagine where I'd be without them . Maybe it takes this for you to realize how much people really care about you, and how wonderful they are. Yeah O.K. I don't have a foot to stand on, but luckily I have a lot of people to lean on.

Examples ......
-Carry you to your car because you can't cross the busy street fast enough on crutches.
-Do your laundry because you can't walk downstairs to the washer and dryer.
-Random hugs every time they see you.
-Carry your backpack for you
-Walk slowly with you
-Make you dinner
-Make you laugh at any cost (even to their own self-esteem hah)
-Can find a bright side no matter what
-Stay up and text you because you tweet about insomnia....even if they're tired
-Hold all the heavy doors open for you
-Point out the positive side -Always!
-Tolerate you when you're cranky
-Move your bed into your living room for you so that you don't have to crawl into your bed every night.
-Listen to your rantings and then....
-Listen to your crazy ideas about what you're going to do if you can't run track
-Plan a spa and sushi day to make up for not running
-Decorate your crutches with you
-Walk behind you when going upstairs on crutches in case you fall backwards
-Aren't afraid of your foot when it's swollen to twice it's normal size
-Make sure you remember to take your ibuprofen
-Think you're hardcore not in spite of passing out and not finishing regionals but because of  passing out during a race.
-Pray for your foot :)
-Have faith in you no matter what
-Carry you across a cross country course after you pass out
-Love you even though you can't run

50 Ways to Keep Your Mind Off of Your Potentially Broken Foot. (or whatever injury ails you)

"Don’t fight challenges. Find a different way to stand"

1. Start a blog! yesssss

2. Enroll in a class so you can pretend to have a different hobby for awhile...painting, sculpting, yoga-ing. ...Whatever floats your boat.

3. Clean your house-top to bottom

4. Volunteer somewhere.

5. Watch lots and lots of old movies

6. Shopping. Lots and lots of shopping. (internet shopping if you're on crutches)

7. Write a letter to someone you love. 

8. Get a haircut/massage/facial/mani/pedi

9. Spend some quality time with your dog (cat). If you don't have one spend said quality time with someone else's dog/cat. 

10. Bake something delicious. 

11.  Get unhealthily addicted to a T.V. series (I strongly recommend Dexter)

12. Facebook stalk your high school boyfriends/friends/rivals/frenemies/ teachers

13. Read an awesome book. 

14. Caffeine. 

15. Eat your fav. childhood comfort food for every meal until it makes you feel better...pb &j <3

16. Reassure yourself that all of your friends love you for far more than the fact that you run. 

17. Youtube music videos from when you were in middle school. Proceed to laugh at your music taste. 

18. Do something artsy to release pent-up anger....music, painting, poetry writing....

19. Redecorate. But try to do it with things you already have and/or find. 

20. (re)Count your blessings. 

21. Go to a mall or coffee shop get something yummy to drink and people-watch

22. Research something. 

23. Laugh. a lot. Surround yourself with people who will make you laugh. 

24. Pray/meditate/go to church etc...

25. Get a tattoo (temporary or otherwise)

26. Wear bright and happy colors.

27. Re-arrange your closet. Donate anything you haven't worn in a year or more. 

28. Get away. Go to a coffee shop in a different town to read or go to the zoo by yourself. Don't tell anyone where you're going and just escape for a couple hours to somewhere awesome. 

29. Go to a theater and go to whatever movie happens to be playing at the time you arrive. (no cheating and checking to see what time a movie you want to see starts).

30. Learn a new language.

31. Have a slumber party. Fort-building is optional but strongly recommended.

32.  Take a long, hot shower. With the radio on. Sing. Loudly. 

33.  Research a dream vacation. 

34. Learn a musical instrument.

35. Take naps

36. Go over to your best guy friend's house/apartment and play one of those videogames where you get to shoot people. It actually is quite effective when it comes to getting anger out. 

37. Do some music therapy. Search itunes and find some new stuff. 

38. Make plans with an old  friend. 

39. Do something that was completely forbidden while you were in training. like (gasp!) soda

40. Allow people to do stupid things to try to cheer you up. Smile because of how much you are loved. 

41. Go to a grocery store and buy candy. Hand it out to random people. (don't be creepy!)

42.  Make a profile on a social media network and spend all your time creating a twitter or google + or flickr

43. Go around a take "artistic" pictures. Fool around in photoshop with them to make them even more artistic. 

44. If all else fails just lay on the floor for a bit and cry until you can't anymore.

45. Decorate your crutches. Let other people try them. Because they will want to. And it will make you laugh. 

46. If you only get to wear one shoe mix it up and wear something crazy like a high heeled boot or something really crazy-colored. 

47. Go to a track. Do some laps on your crutches. 

48. Imagine that you're a kid and you're just playing hot lava again. 

49. Work really really hard on your job/homework. It'll take your mind off it and it will provide success for you in some other way. 

50. Screw it and go running on broken foot anyways.

Sorry this blog is about me being injured....

"Your present circumstances don't determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start." Nido Qubein


I am immediately going to get the hard part over with. I did not finish my race. It is the first time in my life that I have not finished a race. 


I'm not really sure what or how but here's what transpired....My foot's been hurting for a couple weeks now. In typical Katie fashion I chose to ignore it. I told my trainer about it, and after he assured me that it was just a tendon and that nothing could happen I went after it...full force. Bad idea I guess.  Nothing can be worse than patellofemoral though right? wrong. 
To my credit I ran a 5:52 first mile and was pretty close to that by the 2nd mile. At first I thought my foot would be O.K. but all of a sudden it changed from dull ache to stepping on knife type pain. Sooo I knew I just had to finish...but I didn't. All of a sudden around the 3 mile I realized that my foot didn't hurt anymore. Not only that but I couldn't feel anything. That was when I knew I was in trouble. I blacked out and then next thing I remember is being in a golf cart going to the training tent. 


I'll skip over the boring and pathetic events that followed. I'm sure someday me being carried across the course will be funny, and eventually I'll giggle about trying to get on and off the team bus with crutches, and fondly reflect on how ridiculous I sounded when they checked my blood sugar and I told them I'd pass out again if they put a needle in my finger. Those are all for a different post...when I'm in a different mood. 


Long story short I'm going to see a sports medicine doctor on Monday. 1. for the whole blacking out thing and 2.  because somehow it seems that my foot managed to go from "eh it doesn't really hurt" to "I can't move it" in just a few short days. 


Cross your fingers for me  

The Dilemma

To laugh is to risk appearing a fool.
To weep is to risk appearing sentimental.
To reach out for another is to risk involvement.
To expose feelings is to risk rejection.
To place your dreams before the crowd is to risk ridicule.
To love is to risk not being loved in return.
To go forward in the face of overwhelming odds is to risk failure.
But risks must be taken because the greatest hazzard in life is to risk nothing.
The person who risks nothing does nothing, has nothing, is nothing.
He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he cannot learn, feel, change, grow, or love.
Chained by his certitudes, he is a slave.
He has forfeited his freedom.
Only a person who takes risks is free.

The Moon

"Go ahead. Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll be among the stars" 


Disclaimer: I do not usually share my goals with anyone. I know all athletes have to make goals so here is my best attempt. I don't like making goals because I'm a sissy and I'm really afraid of failure  I want so badly to succeed. And I guess if you make goals...and put yourself out there, then everyone will know if you failed and  they will then hate you forever and think you're a loser  I'm afraid to disappoint my family, my friends, my coach, myself.

Alright, alright, I'm a huge baby when it comes to setting goals for myself. Yes, I have them in my head. I  might be thinking them, but I don't like to talk about it. When I'm extremely focused on something I like to shut myself away from the entire world.

However, with only 4 (gasp!) days to go here are my "goals" related to regionals. 


Here's the thing.  Four weeks ago I didn't even think I'd make it through the season. I had prepared myself to have to choose between running conference and regionals. I told myself that maybe I'd train for a century ride instead of go out for track. Maybe I wouldn't run for a year to let my body heal. 


And look at me now. I've already accomplished so much more than I thought that I could. I'm about to make it through the season (relatively) healthy. And here I am throwing around the word "nationals" and "PR" and the like just as though nothing ever happened.

As far as goals go I've already accomplished a lot. While I didn't PR at conference I did drop a minute and 30 seconds from what I had been running all season. I never thought I'd be able to defend my conference title this year after the races that I had been running. But I did. What I took out of conference, however, wasn't just first place, or the plaque that I got to take home. What I got was my confidence back. That's really why I am where I am right now.

I'm excited to be running regionals on legs that I never thought would be the same. I'm excited to be running regionals with goals in place. As scary as it is, it's better have high goals then to not have goals at all. I'm excited that I've come so very far in such a short amount of time, and excited at the possibilities stretching before me. Most of all though, for everything I'm just so very thankful.

Will I be disappointed if I don't reach all of my goals? Yes. I will be. Wouldn't you? However, at the same time I'm not going to be crushed because of how much I've already accomplished this season, how far I've already come.

That said I'd sill like to run a strong race. Now for me that entails both physically and mentally  a strong race. There is from here on out no more giving up. As I said last week there will be no more negative talk, no more negative thoughts. No more talking about being injured or out of shape or anything else related to reasons why I may not succeed. For me, my mental strength is key and that's a lot of what went missing earlier this season. I'd like to tuck myself right into the middle of that lead pack and hang on with everything I have. From there I'll let my legs take me where they will, and I'll trust them to carry me through the remainder of the race.

Always set your goals as high as you'd like. When you don't you it doesn't make it better if you don't reach them. It doesn't make you feel better about yourself. If you don't have goals you can't get anywhere. If you don't dare to dream you're only holding yourself back.

Believe that you can. No matter what that unattainable goal is, don't just give up on it because you're afraid you won't get there someday. It's not the outcome that matters in the end, it's the fact that you tried to get there. Go ahead and shoot for the moon, for that P.R., for the top 50 finishers, for that last minute that you need to drop, for whatever it is for you. Even if you don't get there, the journey itself will have been worth your while.

Why I Need Better Abs for Regionals....

"Why dost thou run so many mile about?" -Shakespeare, Richard III


One week till regionals. I think I may go crazy now.

Have you ever noticed that all of the professional athletes have godly abs? I mean, sure mine are strong, and pretty defined, but are they something that you would see in the movie 300? No. Defiantly not.  It it that the professional athlete genes happen to come with a free side of ab muscles? Or do they do  hours and hours of ab workouts a day? Is there a secret 6-pack formula that I am not aware of?  Are other-worldly abs the secret to running success?

Would abs like Ryan Hall's make me run like him?


Clearly the answer is no. Amazing abs don't make up for not training. You can't lower your P.R. by doing 500 sit-ups a day. ( I...don't...think)  But as runners, abs are something that we're constantly working on, obsessing about, and let's be honest...staring at. If a pro runner didn't have awesome abs who amongst us wouldn't look at their belly and question how they ran so fast considering the shape of their abs?

There is nothing more I can do for regionals except taper. There's no way that running a ton of miles this week, or doing a really intense speed workout now is going to drop my 6k time that next minute. In fact, going crazy this week (taper week) would do far more harm than good. This means that there's really nothing else that I can go crazy with except of course, ab workouts.

Why do we obsess over these crazy things? All runners do it. Is 100 extra sit-ups a day going to help you in a race? Is running circles around your driveway so that you ran a "legit" 60  minutes instead of 59:25 going to push you over that barrier of your P.R.? How much does having the right shoes/socks/hairstyle really matter? Does sleeping with the regionals course map help you remember the course the next day? I admit that there are indeed all things that I have done in hopes that the extra 1% will push me over the edge. They're all things that I'm contemplating now in preparation for regions.  Meaningless? potentially yes. But as runners we're all creatures of habit, of routine, of the same flavor of GU gel during every P.R. and the same pair of lucky socks since freshman year of high school (yes. I do)

At the end of the day it's your training, your legs, your heart, that will carry you to the finish line. But if 500 sit-ups a day help you step up to the starting line as confident as Ryan Hall himself, then by all means.

Traditional Friday Post of Random Facts

What you want to do, and what you can do, is limited only by what you can dream. ~Mike Melvill


1. 8 more days. One more minute


2. I'm really bad at doing group work in school. When I have a group project what generally happens is I do the project myself and email it to my partners and apologize for doing the whole thing myself but I just had "so much extra time" In reality I don't trust anyone else with my grades. Yeah yeah I know I'm not a team player. I don't care. 


3. I made a list today and hung it up in my room called "things you forgot to do when you started focusing only on running" it includes things such as homework. applying to graduate school and the like. I shutter to think that my current priorities place foamrolling above choosing my classes for next semester. On the other hand, regionals is 1 week away soooo I don't really care. 


4. I just found out that I've been anemic for the past couple months....this accounts for some of the leg tiredness. 


5. If I had been a boy my parents were going to name me William. ugh. As I was a girl there was a tremendous argument between Katherine and Teagan. I'm glad my mom won. 


6. Assuming I get my butt in gear and get my grad school applications finished, someday I want to start a new branch of psychology focusing on PTSD in rape victims and why it inhibits their ability to return to work. 


7. When I talk to people I use my eyes waaaay to much. They get huge when I'm excited and squinty when I'm mad. 


8. I feel like I run better when I do a lot of ab workouts


9. I have a huge collection of pokemon cards from when I was in gradeschool. huge. 


10. When I watch horror movies I absolutely expect to be terrified. And I don't get scared easily so anything that doesn't terrify me serves as a horrible disappointment (hello Paranormal Activity 1, 2, and 3). 




Have a good weekend everyone! :)

Two More Weeks. One More Minute

"If you’re going to doubt something, doubt your own limits." ~Don Ward

First things first. For your viewing and giggling pleasure: 

http://www.youtube.com/user/wlcsports 

Please excuse my blushing and eye rolling. The questions they asked in this interview were....well surprising. Like I'm really going to tell the entire world wide web my personal feelings about nervousness and how excited I really was about overcoming GIANT HORRIBLE adversity....Oh...wait...I guess I do that on here every day. Still, it's different when you're on camera. I swear!

So now that conference is over it's time to focus myself on what's next. It's tricky to find that balance between chasing a dream and still being realistic. 

Here are the facts. 

1. Between my last race and the conference race on Saturday I dropped 1 minute and 30 seconds off of my time.

2.  Last year at regionals I ran about 1 minute and 30 seconds faster than I did Saturday. 

3. That equals a 3 minute drop total. 

4. That's a heck of a lot of time in cross country

5.  A 1 minute and 30 second drop would potentially get me into Nationals. 

So what is the line then, where I should be realistic and where I should stop with my dreaming? I never thought I would come THIS far in the first place. Should I just be content with what I've already accomplished or should I keep going and hope for another miracle?  Is two miracles too much to ask for from my legs?

Part of me wants to think that if I build up enough confidence, if I go into Regionals fully confident, if only I believe in myself enough that it'll happen. That maybe my legs will remember what it's like to go that speed and be able to drop time just like I did at conference. Is it too much to ask? Or is it that I simply need to keep believing in myself and let it fall how it will. 

It's been said that the human spirit is indomitable {Roger Bannister-first man to break the 4:00 mark for the mile). But from a technical perspective I also know how difficult it is to cut off that kind of a chunk of time in just 2 weeks. And so goes the argument around and around my head. 

There is only one answer that I know. I can't not go for it. That would be, as stated in my post last week a waste of the most beautiful, wonderful gift and talent that I have.But it would be nice to know what my chances for success  are. Just saying...

This much I know: when I finish Regionals my entire heart and soul will be left out there on the course. 

Of Winning Conference and the Search for Confidence.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous..." -Joshua 1:9


So I got to the end and burst into tears. But this time not the "I ran so bad my legs hurt so much" tears as I've become accustomed to these past few weeks but the "I'm so thankful" kind of tears. ... maybe I should start at the beginning.

I guess it starts with last two weeks. I did everything. EVERYTHING to get back that confidence that I've been missing. I searched every single workout, every trail I ran on, every running dream that I had. But finally I came to a realization. Maybe these past few weeks I had been looking in all the wrong places.

This past Saturday was the conference race for my cross country team. Aside from Regionals it's the most important meet of the season. To much of my team it IS the most important meet of the season. I wrote down all of my positive affirmations in preparation. Read them over and over and over again. And got ready to run for real.

My coach's only instructions to me were "Just go out there and run your own race. And please don't run a 2:30 for your first 800" (it was a 2:57!) before he walked away.

At UW Parkside's Wayne E. Dannehl nationally known cross country course they don't shoot a gun. They fire a cannon at the beginning of the race. And with that we were off and running.

Finally, finally somehow I found my stride. I found my confidence. After the first 800 meters I was all alone. I spent the entire race chasing down the gator that served as our pace car. 

The trails at UW-Parkside are absolutely gorgeous this time of year so I was actually quite distracted for the first couple miles.I went through the mile slightly above 6 minute pace and the 2 mile at about the same. I didn't hit my first mental block until mile 3. I threw in a surge to pick up my stride a little bit. Unfortunately right after that surge I turned a corner and staring me right in the face was a steep hill of solid mud. 

My mantra changed from "Confidence, confidence, confidence" to "Believe, believe, believe". I made it to the top of that hill, and from there the last 800 meters was all downhill and finally to the finish. Almost a minute and a half faster than I ran my previous race in. 

I got to the end and hugged my dad and burst into tears. Because I was so thankful to have found my stride again. Somehow in those four miles I found what I had been looking for all these weeks. Or maybe, I had it all along and I just remembered where to look.