Because It's Who You Are

"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing." Helen Keller




I have to something you know. I can't just be expected to sit here on the couch watching "Legally Blonde" and "Mulan" for the next 6 weeks. It is actually of great interest to me to know what people who are not runners do in all their spare time. So much of my life has always revolved around workouts and races that now I'm just left with this giant, empty, void. I used to plan my outfits, my meals, my sleep, my hair, my showers around my runs. Everything was because of running.


So now if you think about it...that means that I have to re-arrange everything in my life according to not running. I mean, do I really need 8 hours a night? not really....Do I need to make sure I get enough protein, enough vitamin C? I suppose it doesn't matter since I'm not depleting my body anymore with running. I can in fact, wear nice clothes and do my hair without feeling as though it's going to be a waste of time anyways. 


The point however, is that this resting thing really isn't for me. Suuuure I tried it out for a week or so, but that's not really who I am. I always thought that the best parts of me were because I run. I thought that my determination, my craziness, my persistence...were all from running. As I said above, ever since grade school my life has revolved primarily around running. So, I figured, who I am too, was shaped and formed based upon the fact that I run. 


But maybe instead, I chose running because I already possessed the qualities that it takes to be a runner. Maybe it's not so much of running making me who I am, but who I am making me a runner. At the very least its a comforting thought now that I can't run. 


This all became very clear to me two days ago. On Saturday, one week after the incident, I decided that it was time to stop moping around and time to do something. So I got my ipod and one running shoe and I headed out the door-with my crutches-on a "walk". Or as I prefer-a "pretend run".


I had two people stop me and ask me if I needed a ride and one guy (who clearly MUST have been a runner himeself) simply asked me what happened and after evaluating simply said "nice pace".   I went on a 40 minute pretend run that day. At the time I didn't think anything of it. I was simply trying to get myself in a better mood, get some of those old endorphins flowing again and try to clear out the cobwebs that have developed in my brain over the past week or so. 


However, when I mentioned doing this people were startled that I really went out on a 40 minute walk on crutches. I didn't think it was a big deal, just something I wanted to do. Just like how every other day of my life people think that insane to love ten mile runs or a 90 minute pool workout. Maybe I'm not like this because I'm a runner. Maybe I've always been like this, and that's why I love to run as much as I do. 


One week down. If all goes well I could be walking in 3 more weeks! 
But luckily whether I'm walking or swimming or crutching after those three weeks I know that no injury can take away the person that I am, I just have to find a different way to be that person for now.