Injury ...Week 3
Things are so different when you go from running 50 miles a week to sitting on your butt 50 hours a week. The first is that I'm no longer tired. I'm no longer hungry, no longer thirsty. When I was training everything that my body told me was directly correlated to the amount that I was running. If I did a speed workout I knew I needed a lot of protein for dinner.. An hour or more of running meant that I needed some carbohydrates for breakfast. But now I have no way to know what to do or what not to do. Only that I need more calcium so that my bones get better.
In the same way running 50 miles a week meant 8 hours a night. No ifs, ands, or buts. But now there is no sleeping. I'm not tired and the pain in my foot is too much for any more than 3 hours in a row. Part of this is due to not being tired. Part of this is due to pain. Part of it is due to my foot going numb at night because of the boot. I had two nights this past week where I went to bed with giant ugly boot on my foot and woke up with giant ugly boot laying halfway across the room. Not sure exactly how this happened, but it gave me a good laugh in the morning...though the ditching of the boot at night does make for a very very painful next day.
I have, for as long as I can remember, been jealous of tall girls with long, skinny, legs. Mine have always been rather short and muscular. From my perspective my calves were always too big, my quads too defined, my shin muscles freaks of nature. But surprise! I took off my boot the other day to look at my left calf and everything is...gone. I have barely any muscle tone left in it. It's not hard muscles anymore but just loose flesh hanging there. Perhaps you truly cant appreciate what you have until it's gone. My massive hamstrings, and calves, and quads were all parts of who Iwas am. I need to stop chasing after my crazy ideas of "perfection" and celebrate who I am a little bit more. Giant quadriceps and all.
I suppose -if nothing else-that's the good that has come from these three long and confusing weeks. That maybe you don't have to be perfect all the time, that maybe you're allowed to break every once in awhile. Learning that I can't be perfect all the time is maybe the underlying lesson here. And more importantly, that no one expects you to be perfect all the time, well except maybe yourself.
Is it normal that once you've accepted something like this to start embracing it though? I had someone tell me today that even though I'm on crutches I'm still always smiling. Which is true now that I think about it. It doesn't mean that I miss running any less, or that my foot feels any better. But I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I miss running, but I'm not angry about it anymore. For now I'm just waiting until I find what that reason is. I can't change what happened so I might as well make the most of it in my present and future.
In the same way running 50 miles a week meant 8 hours a night. No ifs, ands, or buts. But now there is no sleeping. I'm not tired and the pain in my foot is too much for any more than 3 hours in a row. Part of this is due to not being tired. Part of this is due to pain. Part of it is due to my foot going numb at night because of the boot. I had two nights this past week where I went to bed with giant ugly boot on my foot and woke up with giant ugly boot laying halfway across the room. Not sure exactly how this happened, but it gave me a good laugh in the morning...though the ditching of the boot at night does make for a very very painful next day.
I have, for as long as I can remember, been jealous of tall girls with long, skinny, legs. Mine have always been rather short and muscular. From my perspective my calves were always too big, my quads too defined, my shin muscles freaks of nature. But surprise! I took off my boot the other day to look at my left calf and everything is...gone. I have barely any muscle tone left in it. It's not hard muscles anymore but just loose flesh hanging there. Perhaps you truly cant appreciate what you have until it's gone. My massive hamstrings, and calves, and quads were all parts of who I
I suppose -if nothing else-that's the good that has come from these three long and confusing weeks. That maybe you don't have to be perfect all the time, that maybe you're allowed to break every once in awhile. Learning that I can't be perfect all the time is maybe the underlying lesson here. And more importantly, that no one expects you to be perfect all the time, well except maybe yourself.
Is it normal that once you've accepted something like this to start embracing it though? I had someone tell me today that even though I'm on crutches I'm still always smiling. Which is true now that I think about it. It doesn't mean that I miss running any less, or that my foot feels any better. But I do believe that everything happens for a reason. I miss running, but I'm not angry about it anymore. For now I'm just waiting until I find what that reason is. I can't change what happened so I might as well make the most of it in my present and future.
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