I can walk you know. This surprise Christmas present came two days late for me. But it still came nonetheless.
I can't walk very well and it's a far cry from the pretty, long, graceful, strides I used to imagine myself running in. And I'm still nervous to do it without at least one crutch under my left arm but hey, it's a start.
Originally, before the world caved in on me and my body decided not to heal we thought that I would only be on crutches for 4-6 weeks. During my last doctor appointment as you know, that got pushed back until January 13...which means a grand total of 9 long, long, weeks on crutches. This weekend (Christmas) marked the official 6 week mark since I had put any sort of weight on my foot, 6 weeks since I've run, 6 weeks since that dreadful moment during regionals where I blacked out and got myself a big, fat, DNF.
So I finally decided that enough was enough. I went on a "walk" on my crutches yesterday. By the last few minutes my right hip, IT band, knee, and both my armpits were crazy sore from walking for so long using crutches. I decided I am not -NOT- going to take this lying down. So I walked a whole block on my foot. Slowly. Awkwardly. But walking. I had to make myself do it, make myself put my foot down, especially my heel. But I did it. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to be walking this much but honestly, what's the worst that can happen? My foot breaks. ha. ha. ha.
Still though...Victory. Huge victory.
Today at work while I was supposed to be filing psychological reports and entering data and ensuring that the patients are comfy in the waiting room,I spent a large amount of time learning how to walk using only ONE crutch instead of two. I'm not entirely comfortable using my heel just yet but I can hobble on the ball of my foot. I'm trying to work up the courage to do it without crutches but I need to also remember to go slowly, slowly,slowly. Not everything in life needs to be full speed ahead. Well...not right now anyways.
So now I can walk from room to room and actually carry things because I'm only using one crutch instead of two. And I can put almost my full weight on the ball of my left foot.
Because I'm going to be gone on New Year's here are Decemeber's failures and my goals for January. Full-on New Year's resolutions are coming later.
December:
1. GET RID OF CRUTCHES AND BOOT!!!!! Well, I got rid of the boot and one crutch. Does that count?
2. Walk by December 12 (this will be 1 month since regionals) fail :(
3. Go on a bike ride by Christmas. Also fail...but hopefully only 2 more weeks until I can do this.
4. Go for a run on Christmas day. It doesn't matter if it's one mile, or one block, or one minute. I WILL do it. No comment.
5. Calcium...Protein....Alright I've been working on this. 90% faithfully taking my calcium supplements (hey, I'm human. I forget) Protein is something I could work a bit harder at.
6. Get into graduate school. Applications sent and fingers crossed.
7. Stop neglecting ab workouts. Eh...I was doing good for awhile.
8. Keep being my optimistic, happy, thankful for what I have little self. No matter how long I don't run for. This was harder than I thought, due to the fact that I thought the "No matter how long I don't run for" part wouldn't be as bad as it was. But still. I did it.
9.Stop biting nails At least I accomplished something. I think this has more to do with me not being nervous for races than my willpower.
10.Go to early-season track practices every day on crutches. Be best captain possible on crutches. Learn names of all of my teammates Done.
2. Walk by December 12 (this will be 1 month since regionals) fail :(
3. Go on a bike ride by Christmas. Also fail...but hopefully only 2 more weeks until I can do this.
4. Go for a run on Christmas day. It doesn't matter if it's one mile, or one block, or one minute. I WILL do it. No comment.
5. Calcium...Protein....Alright I've been working on this. 90% faithfully taking my calcium supplements (hey, I'm human. I forget) Protein is something I could work a bit harder at.
6. Get into graduate school. Applications sent and fingers crossed.
7. Stop neglecting ab workouts. Eh...I was doing good for awhile.
8. Keep being my optimistic, happy, thankful for what I have little self. No matter how long I don't run for. This was harder than I thought, due to the fact that I thought the "No matter how long I don't run for" part wouldn't be as bad as it was. But still. I did it.
9.
10.
January:
1. GET RID OF CRUTCHES
2. Walk before I see my doctor again Walk before New Year's dang it!
3. Bike ride by the end of January
4. Start doing legit pool workouts
5. Start off the new semester on the right foot (pun intended) no more slacking in school just because you can't run.
6. Calcium. So. Much. Calcium.
7. Find a yoga class and get your strength back.
8. Be really really smart about food choices. Eat things that will make foot better.
9. Try to start sleeping more
10. Find will to run again
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