I've Decided To Get Better

"Turns out healing isn't a random, mysterious, miraculous process. It's simply a decision you make when you decide you want to get better"

Surprise of the week #2. Not only can I walk, I can still swim fast. Well. O.K. not fast but pretty decent considering that I've lost all of the muscle mass in my left leg.

I aqua-jogged today. Which was...really boring. After the first half an hour I actually realized that my foot was feeling really good-especially when you consider how much I've been walking on it. I decided to take a chance. I strapped on my goggles and slowly took off my belt.

I started did two laps of breaststroke and then eased into freestyle. Kicking my leg and all. I CAN SWIM! Trust me, I was just as surprised as anyone. I honestly thought I'd make it half a length of the 50m pool and have to turn my sorry butt back around, but I kept kicking, I kept swimming, I kept going. For 25 minutes. The longest workout I've done since November 12. I'm still a little shocked honestly.

Sometimes I can't find a good or fitting quote for these posts and I make one up. Usually I just don't put a name after them but today I'll take credit for it. Despite my whole psychology undergrad degree I'd love nothing more than to be a writer someday. But anyways as I was saying: I came up with that quote while I was swimming today. I realized that healing isn't just something that happens to you no matter what you do. You have to want it to happen to. I wasn't ready to be healed even a couple weeks ago. There are many reasons for this and I won't bore you with all of them. But the pain was still to fresh and I was still too devastated. My leg simply couldn't be healed you see, because my mind wasn't ready for it to be yet.

What do you think? How much of healing is mental and how much is physical? Is it possible for the mental to either speed up or slow down the physical part of healing?

Either way...I am SO ready to be healed.